Lubna Alli

This week class was cancelled and Zahra said to take the free time to do something fun, not schoolwork.

Thursdays are what I look forward to in order to get through the week. They are my favourite days because I know I get to see Zahra and have a wholesome, good conversation with a bunch of awesome people. So, although I was bummed out about class getting cancelled this week, it was most definitely a blessing in disguise. Boy oh boy, did I need that time off because there was just way too many things happening that day.

Thursdays bi-weekly I have my Fellowship meetings with the School of Cities Academy. I also have two classes that day, including Zahra’s 3-hour workshop. Throw in a group meeting for another class on Philanthropic Marketing case study analysis and I easily had a 12 hour day, back to back. This week, in particular, I was preparing for the Geography and City Studies Student Association (GCSA) Case Competition known as UTSC: 50 Years Later. Lack of sleep is pretty much a norm for me now, only banking about 5 hours on a given weekday night. But this week, in particular, was rough, I think I was clocking an average of 3 hours each night, and Thursday night was a solid 45 mins of sleep as I prepared for both case competitions the following day.  

I overwork myself, over commit myself, and overachieve at every single thing I do. And I wouldn’t have it any other damn way.

I think the reason I do this is because these are the opportunities I wish I had the chance to immerse myself in 2-3 years ago. It saddens me to think about actually, but all of my undergrad I worked 2 jobs to put myself through school. During that time, because I worked so much I wasn’t able to afford the time to participate in extracurriculars, let alone find time to complete my readings and assignments for my regular full-time course load. The person I am in my undergrad is the complete opposite of who I was in high school. In high school, I was confident, driven, and hardworking. Nothing phased me, and everything motivated me. When I started at UTSC couldn’t seem to find this same person again, crawling into a deep depression that I had refused to come to terms with at the time. Looking back now, the signs were clear as day.

Now that I’m finally not working, this year is the year that I finally feel like myself again. I’m not being led astray. I’m enjoying the things about myself that I once used to find joy in. Going to Chapters and getting lost in a book for hours is one of my favourite pastimes. I actually have time to go to yoga and de-stress. Frickin’ yoga, I know. Writing is also a love of mine I’ve been reacquainted with. My limited free time is spent on interesting myself in the parts of myself I’ve always wanted to explore but never had the time to.

I also busted open my calligraphy kit and started scrapbooking again. I’m also always learning, currently, my interests lie in zero-waste and sustainable living options. Not to mention van builds for van life are at the top of the list of my YouTube deep dives. God, I sound like I came straight out of the womb into Kensington. What I’m trying to say is that I’m not perfect, I’m a work in progress. But, I’m happy that I am finally allowing myself the time to focus on myself. 

P.S. ya girl placed 1st for the case comp, so not too shabby, Lubna, not too shabby.